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HAIL, C?SAR!
Written by
Joel Coen Ethan Coen
Copyright ? 2014 WHITE SHOOTING: October 13th, 2014
BLUE REVISION: January 5th, 2015
FADE IN SOUND
INT. CONFESSIONAL - NIGHT
DISTANT, BEAUTIFUL VOICES
Male voices. A Gregorian chant.
We fade in on a crucifix in the apse of the church: a suffering Christ.
We cut to a close shot of a small silver cross on a rosary. The rosary is held in a mans lap next to a mouse-grey fedora. The light is dim.
As we hear a panel sliding, more light wipes onto the rosary beads.
Wider on the man waiting in the confessional: middle-aged, tired.
VOICE
Son, it is so late.
MAN
Yeah, Father, work has just been...
VOICE
You work too hard.
MAN
Nah, I’m just... keepin the place goin’. Anyhow, bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been uh, twenty-four hours since my last confession. I, uh...
VOICE
Yes my son.
MAN
I lied to Connie. Uh, to my wife.
VOICE
This is very serious.
MAN
I know! I promised her Id quit smoking. She thinks its bad for me. And Im trying, but... well, I snuck a couple of cigarettes...
Maybe three.
2.
VOICE
Yes.
MAN
It’s hard.
VOICE
Yes, my son.
MAN ——But I’m trying.
A clap of thunder.
EXT. SPANISH HOUSE - NIGHT
HOUSE AT NIGHT
We are looking, through the rain-pelted windshield of a parked car, at a small, Spanish-style bungalow. The rattle of driving rain does not quite cover the sound of drunken female laughter. There are occasional flashes of lightning outside, and occasional flashes of strobe light in the windows of the house.
Inside our surveilling car a wrist rolls over to show a watch face, streaked with the shadows of dripping rain: 5:00 o’clock.
A voice-over begins, authoritatively omniscient——or maybe it only sounds so because it is British-accented:
VOICE-OVER
It is 5:00 A.M. The sun is soon to rise. But for Eddie Mannix the day has already begun.
Our car’s driver, Eddie Mannix——the man we saw confessing——looks up from his watch to the house.
VOICE-OVER (CONT’D)
The movie studio for which he works manufactures storie
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